One little moment.
A little collection of ordinary days and changing perspectives.
Come as you are. Read at your own pace.
6 entries in burnout
i spent most of my life trying not to disappoint people. saying yes, being useful, staying available, making myself easy to rely on. lately, i don’t care as much anymore. if someone leaves because i stopped exhausting myself to keep them comfortable, i think i can finally let them.
i don’t really know when it happened. somewhere between growing up, trying to keep up, and being tired for longer than i realised, i went from someone who was curious about everything to someone who struggles to start anything. the weird part is that i still want things. i just don’t always know how to reach the version of me who used to go after them.
不知道从什么时候开始，生活慢慢失去了原本的色彩。曾经对未来充满期待的自己，如今连迈出一步都觉得困难。想逃离，想重新开始，想被理解，也想被认真爱着。有时候觉得一个人也挺好，有时候却又羡慕别人拥有的归属感。明明知道自己不想继续这样生活，却不知道该从哪里改变。偶尔会想，如果一切能够重来，另一个世界的我，会不会活成小时候期待的模样。
another teammate is leaving, and somehow i barely reacted. no panic, no anger. just this invisible pressure slowly building in my head while i pretend everything is fine. i don't know how much longer i can keep carrying things like this. the project might fail. i'll deal with it when it happens. quitting, though, hasn't crossed my mind.
recently, even the smallest things have started bothering me. a late reply. a slightly different tone. a conversation that suddenly feels exhausting. i want people close, but somehow i keep pushing them away. idk if it's burnout, overthinking, or just my brain running out of patience. maybe i'm not losing interest in people. maybe i'm just tired.
A burnout-driven thought experiment about emotional withdrawal, reduced effort, and the desire to let everything matter less.