One little moment.
A little collection of ordinary days and changing perspectives.
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4 entries in quarter-life crisis
i don’t really know when it happened. somewhere between growing up, trying to keep up, and being tired for longer than i realised, i went from someone who was curious about everything to someone who struggles to start anything. the weird part is that i still want things. i just don’t always know how to reach the version of me who used to go after them.
不知道从什么时候开始，生活慢慢失去了原本的色彩。曾经对未来充满期待的自己，如今连迈出一步都觉得困难。想逃离，想重新开始，想被理解，也想被认真爱着。有时候觉得一个人也挺好，有时候却又羡慕别人拥有的归属感。明明知道自己不想继续这样生活，却不知道该从哪里改变。偶尔会想，如果一切能够重来，另一个世界的我，会不会活成小时候期待的模样。
i used to be someone who could study for hours and get things done. now i can barely convince myself to open my laptop, even when i know exactly what needs to be done. i've been looking back at my childhood, questioning my habits, and wondering if i've had adhd all along. somewhere between growing up, moving abroad, and trying to finish my degrees, i think i've lost track of myself a little. i don't know if i need a break, a change of direction, or just some help figuring things out. maybe all three.
i have so many things i want to do, so many versions of myself i want to become. yet somehow, i spend more time thinking about starting than actually starting. living with adhd in my mid-20s feels like being caught between ambition and paralysis. it's not that i don't care. maybe i care about too many things at once. and sometimes, the hardest part isn't doing the work. it's convincing my brain to begin.